ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
