Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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