Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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