Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
