So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
wow bdsm is so cute
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize