This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
