Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
