He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
