I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
