go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
