The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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