i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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