Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
