Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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