I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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