Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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