We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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