My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
