Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
