Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So apparently I’m into choking now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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