ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
