Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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