If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
