You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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