I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
