I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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