in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize
