you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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