And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
