He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
