There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
