epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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