I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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