Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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