So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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