My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like a drive thru vagina
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
