Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize