So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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