Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
