He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
