I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
