Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
