cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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