Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
