I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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