I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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