It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize