Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Let's paint friendship bongs
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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