It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
