Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
