Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
