i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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