I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
