that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
