mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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