I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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