Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
