you traded sex for a burrito?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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