If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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